Ladies joke: Baby with antenna or not joke??

Electronic Engineer's wife delivered a baby,
Wife send SMS to his husband:
'Your circuit design came out.'
Husband smiled and replied:With antenna or without antenna

Marriage joke: After marriage noone could save him

A Boy Thought Of Suicide
He Drank Poison ,But His Father Saved Him
He Hanged, But His Mother Saved Him
He Met With An Accident , Doctor Saved Him
He Jumped Into A Well, Gardener Saved Him
At Last He Got Married and  Now No One Could Save Him

Wife joke: he don't know about gulf..

Husband: Honey, if I die, would you get remarried?
Wife: Well, I suppose so.
Husband: Would you sleep in the same bed with him? Wife: I guess we would.
Husband: Would you make love to him?
Wife: He would be my husband then dear.
Husband: would you give him my golf clubs also?
Wife: No No... he does not like golf.

Wife died joke: tears

A man to his friend...
My wife died yesterday...I am trying to cry, But tears are not
coming out....
What do I do?
Friend : No problem, its easy just imagine she is back in your life.....

Fat wife jokes:Call to police

A thief entered in a house, suddenly the fat wife woke up & caught that thief & sat on his back......
Fat wife (To her husband)--"Go & call the police."
Husband started searching something under the bed......
Wife-What are you searching for?
Husband- My slippers.
Thief-Take my slippers & go quickly......ooohhh..

Demand of women:joke

Husband was seriously ill and admitted to the hospital.
Doctor said to his wife:
Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in good mood everyday
Don't discuss your problems, No TV serial, don't demand new clothes & gold jewels,
Do this for 1 year & He will be fine.
On the way home.
Husband: What did the doctor say to you?
Wife: No chance for you to survive

Over speed: Meet with wife

Judge: Whats the proof that you were not over speeding?
Man: My Lord, I was going to my in-laws place to bring my wife back.
Judge: Oh! So, case dismissed!! right now.

Married life joke: go to hell

Wife: Why are you home so early?
.
.
.
Husband: My boss told me to go to hell..

Married Boss of an office: Office joke

Boss attached a notice in office, "I'm the boss, don't forget it".
When he returns from lunch, someone wrote under it,
"Your wife called here, she wants her notice return back at home soon"

How the men cheat with their wives: Jokes

A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. 
A man didn't come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.

Anniversary joke:

Husband : Where do you want to go for this anniversary?

Wife : I want to go somewhere, I've never been before

Husband : Try to go to Kitchen!

Hitting with bat: Husband and wife

Wife comes home late at night ,
And quietly opens the door to her bedroom

From under the blanket
she sees four legs instead of two

She founds a baseball bat
and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can

Then she goes to the kitchen to have a drink As she enters , she sees her husbnad there , reading a magazine
''Hi Darling'', he says
''your Parents have come to visit us, so let them stay in our bedroom
Hope you have said hello to them....

Call to police: thief jokes

WIFE :Hey look there is a theif in our house and he is eating the cake which i prepared for your birthday

Husband : So Whom should i call , Police or Ambulanc?

Husband and wife joke:new brain

Husband:I am sure that your brain is as good as new..
Wife:How can you say that?
Husband:Because you never used it

Wife Wanted....., jokes

An unmarried man wrote his status on Facebook:
"Wanted wife"
.
.
2 girls liked it
&
222 men commented........."please my wife is free"

Searching expiry date, joke

Wife: Honey, what are you looking for?
Husband: Nothing
Wife: Why have you been reading our marriage certificate for half an hour?
Husband: I was just looking for the expiry date of this certificate...

Why are you early, jokes

Husband came home & finds his wife with another man.
Wife : Why are you early?
Husband : who is he?
.
.
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Wife : Don't try 2to change the topic

Drunkard Still Celebrating....

Wife: Look at that drunker...

Husband: Who is he?

Wife:10 years back he proposed me & i rejected him...
.
.

Husband: Oh my god!! He is still celebrating......what a man!!

On the lap, joke

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

looking from window, joke

Doctor: Did you look at your husband's face while kissing
Lady: Yes, Doctor .......I did and he looked so angry
Doctor: Why ??
Lady:
.

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.

.
Because  ..... He was looking from window...